Thursday, February 28, 2013

Cold

I've never felt this cold
A bone chilling cold
It's flowing through me
Filling me from the toes up
All the warmth seeped away
Leaking into
The world
The people
The places
They are all stealing from me
Sucking away my life
Slowly killing me
So cold
Freezing
Cold

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Stuck

I just want to go back
Back to the days where nothing went wrong
Back to long car rides
To piggy backs
To holding hands
When nothing was stronger
When nothing meant more
I just want to go back
To gather the memories
The ones that seem to slip away
Memories of laughter
Memories of anger
Happiness, joy and love
I wanna go back
Before my world turned
Dark
Cold
Frightening
Impossible
Forward seems so foreboding
I just want to go back

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

A Lie

I love you I'll see you soon
the words echo through my mind
he lied to me
i can't believe he would do that
he's gone and he lied
who am i supposed to go on drives with
who will tell me to clean out my car
who's gonna walk me down the aisle
he's gone 
there is nothing i can do
he left me
he promised me he'd...
but it doesn't matter because he's gone 
and the last thing he said to me
was a lie
a flat
outright
lie

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Frustrated Screams

The silent angry yells
Filled to the brim
With complete frustration.
Mouth gaping wide,
The unsatisfied anger
Pushing to come out.
Can't help but think
What can I do
To stop the pain.
The pain of frustration
The pain of anger
The pain of emotion.
Emotion that rips you apart,
That scratches at your insides.
Frustrated tears,
Angry motions,
Unhappy sighs. 

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Fall

We fall to the earth small and screaming
Unable to care or fend for ourselves
Left to the care of the ones who caught us

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Life

He paces back and forth, the grass dying the underside of his feet. He is waiting, waiting for life to begin, waiting to grow older, waiting to get away, and waiting for her. His parents had been fighting... again and he needed to talk.

He watched as she ran up the sidewalk, her high ponytail bouncing and hitting her face. He's stopped pacing, to stare at her, from her long waist length hair to her deep intelligent fresh water eyes.

She jumped at him wrapping her arms around his upper body, taking him by surprise and knocking them both to the ground.

A fit of giggles over takes her and he lies on the ground while she works to calm herself. He takes a deep breath, taking in the smell of sunflowers and oranges.

Finally calming down she stands up and walks away. His world feels empty as she walks away, cars speed by and people pass, but he is all alone.

She turns around, half way through the yard, and calls for him to follow, a smile gracing her small face. He races to her, and together they run to their woods, the small patch of trees just behind his house. He scrambles ahead and up the large boulder, staring up at him she tries to jump onto the rock.

As he turns to help her up she falls backward, he watches as she picks herself up, dusting the dirt off her jeans. He helps her up and they talk. He tells her of his parents, their fighting and looks of disappointment. She listens quietly, taking his problems and baring the load.

The two of them sit there on the large rock in the woods behind his house; they are both young and childish. She stands and dances around him, laughing and giggling no trace of sorrow on her face. His is covered in worry, but as she dances around him, the lines begin to fade and soon he joins in the merriment. They clasp hands and spin in circles, there is no end in sight for their time together. She is the first to collapse, practically throwing herself to the rock beneath them. Her laughter rings melodically through the thin woods as she pulls him down to sit with her again.

But when she goes home and he stands in the yard watching as the fading sunlight glistens in her hair, he's left to go inside alone.
Inside the house filled with disappointment.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Falling

Truthfully I don’t know how I got here, here being literal as well as figurative. Here being nowhere, everywhere with the wind rushing around me and the ground growing closer and closer. I jumped that much I know for sure, I had leaped from the top of that cliff. But why I could not for the life of me remember, I hit the surface of the icy water below it took my breath away. Sinking slowly to the bottom of the freezing sea, my mind became clearer and I remembered. This was my choice of ending, I chose this over the fate that destiny had sent for me, death that would come at the hands of my brother, my death that would be torturous, painfully slow where the end would never come sooner. My brother the kindest sweetest soul I have ever met, the only man I know who would never rush off to war, to battle, to kill. But I seem to be getting ahead of myself.